My husband travels a lot for work. A few years ago, it would stress me out having him gone a considerable amount of the time. Now it just feels normal. In fact, our house is usually a bit quieter on weeks when Daddy is away. Go figure.
This week while he was away I had a pretty obvious epiphany that I’d never really thought about before: I’m doing it all right now. All the parenting. All the housework. All the yard work. All the teachings. All the bedtimes. All the clean up. Everything. It’s just me and I’m doing it all. All by myself. And it totally sucks.
The strange thing is that this realization didn’t make me feel bitter, or angry, or even sad. It just made me feel tired, and strong, and maybe in need of a beer.
When my husband is home, we have pretty split roles in the house. I take care of daytime care of the kids and the house, and he takes over at night. I cook, do the laundry, and do general picking up. He does garbage duty, lawn stuff, and deep cleaning when I freak out that our house is never clean. Bless him.
But sometimes he’s gone 50% of the time.
I feel like moms (and dads) who have to do it all aren’t allowed to complain or vent about how much they hate having to do it all. Instead, you’re supposed to feel grateful and blessed; never annoyed, or cranky, or tired. If you do step over the line and say “Ahh I Can’t Do It All!!” there’s usually someone on the other side who is more than willing to tell you how dramatic you are being
That’s a total load of BS.
If you have ever had to do it all, all by yourself, I salute you. Let us join hands and shout from the rooftops: This Totally Blows!
Here’s to the all the parents out there who have to be both mom and dad; whether it’s 1 day, 10 days, or every single day.
Here’s to fixing fuses and flat tires.
Here’s to baking cupcakes, mending clothes, and shuttling kids everywhere.
Here’s to helping with homework, mowing the lawn, and paying the bills.
Here’s to troubleshooting the wifi, fixing the DVD player, and straight up murdering the MFing printer.
Here’s to cleaning up a flooded basement, shoveling driveways, and plunging every drain ever.
Here’s to all night feedings, stomach bug clean ups, and over flowing toilets.
Here’s to drinking cold cups of coffee, eating dinner at 9pm, and not showering for longer than 2 minutes.
Here’s to nap strikes, bedtime stalling, and sleeping on the floor while a child (or children) hog your bed.
Here’s to never going to the bathroom by yourself. Ever.
Here’s to wiping up tears, spilled milk, and a bathtub’s worth of water off the floor…every damn day.
Here’s to the first ones awake and the last ones asleep.
Here’s to no vacations, no sick days, and no off hours.
Here’s to hiding in the pantry in order to get a precious minute of alone time.
Because solo parenting straight up sucks.
S. U. C. K. S.
If anyone tells you otherwise you have my permission to punch them as hard as you can in the face. Twice.