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moms are human

Mantras For Moms, Moms Are Human, Parenting

Monday Mantra

May 4, 2015

best_everyday_mantra

 

Everyday, I wake up with the intention of doing my best; and most nights I go to sleep thinking I could have done better.

I know that I am not alone in these feelings.

Most days,  time goes by at lightning speed and at the end of the night I can’t even remember if I had a conversation with JBird; let alone if I gave her a hug that day. It’s all just a blur.

Thankfully, I’ve started becoming a bit more mindful about my days. As a result, I’m starting to feel like I actually DID give my best that day; gave it everything I had.

We all know that the days are long and the years are short, so why not strive to make every day count?

Why not wake up everyday with the intention that it will be your best day yet?

Try it. See where it takes you.

 

Everyday, Family, Moms Are Human, Parenting

Doing It All

July 31, 2014

doing-it-all

My husband travels a lot for work. A few years ago, it would stress me out having him gone a considerable amount of the time. Now it just feels normal.  In fact, our house is usually a bit quieter on weeks when Daddy is away. Go figure.

This week while he was away I had a pretty obvious epiphany that I’d never really thought about before: I’m doing it all right now. All the parenting. All the housework. All the yard work. All the teachings. All the bedtimes. All the clean up. Everything. It’s just me and I’m doing it all. All by myself. And it totally sucks.

Hooray.

The strange thing is that this realization didn’t make me feel bitter, or angry, or even sad. It just made me feel tired, and strong, and maybe in need of a beer.

When my husband is home, we have pretty split roles in the house. I take care of daytime care of the kids and the house, and he takes over at night. I cook, do the laundry, and do general picking up. He does garbage duty, lawn stuff, and deep cleaning when I freak out that our house is never clean. Bless him.

But sometimes he’s gone 50% of the time.

I feel like moms (and dads) who have to do it all aren’t allowed to complain or vent about how much they hate having to do it all. Instead, you’re supposed to feel grateful and blessed; never annoyed, or cranky, or tired. If you do step over the line and say “Ahh I Can’t Do It All!!” there’s usually someone on the other side who is more than willing to tell you how dramatic you are being

That’s a total load of BS.

If you have ever had to do it all, all by yourself, I salute you. Let us join hands and shout from the rooftops: This Totally Blows!

Here’s to the all the parents out there who have to be both mom and dad; whether it’s 1 day, 10 days, or every single day.

Here’s to fixing fuses and flat tires.

Here’s to baking cupcakes, mending clothes, and shuttling kids everywhere.

Here’s to helping with homework, mowing the lawn, and paying the bills.

Here’s to troubleshooting the wifi, fixing the DVD player, and straight up murdering the MFing printer.

Here’s to cleaning up a flooded basement, shoveling driveways, and plunging every drain ever.

Here’s to all night feedings, stomach bug clean ups, and over flowing toilets.

Here’s to drinking cold cups of coffee, eating dinner at 9pm, and not showering for longer than 2 minutes.

Here’s to nap strikes, bedtime stalling, and sleeping on the floor while a child (or children) hog your bed.

Here’s to never going to the bathroom by yourself. Ever.

Here’s to wiping up tears, spilled milk, and a bathtub’s worth of water off the floor…every damn day.

Here’s to the first ones awake and the last ones asleep.

Here’s to no vacations, no sick days,  and no off hours.

Here’s to hiding in the pantry in order to get a precious minute of alone time.

Because solo parenting straight up sucks.

S. U. C. K. S.

If anyone tells you otherwise you have my permission to punch them as hard as you can in the face. Twice.

 

Moms Are Human, Parenting

Mommy is a Unicorn

April 30, 2014

mommy-is-a-unicorn

*selfie take by my (then) 2.5 year old. I feel like she’s going to end up a film student.

It seems to me that “Mommy” is a concept. Not always a tangible thing.

I think back to my childhood, and despite being with my mother everyday, I really cannot recall memories of her until my adolescence. I remember being close to her. I remember eating food she made me. I remember going places she took me. But her, as a person, is absent. What’s most fascinating is that the more I talk about it with people, the more they too have similar experiences and memories. Are you able to remember your mother, as a person, before the age of 10?

I have a theory. Being a mother means you do not actually exist as a person until your children are older; even so much as moved out of the house. Instead of being a real person with real interests, fears, flesh, and blood, you are kind of like an imaginary friend. There are days when I’m pretty sure my toddler thinks she is the only one who can see me.

As a mommy you are always there. Everywhere. Even when you’re not there in body next to them, you always seem to know what they are doing; or at least that’s how they see it. You’re more of a presence and less of a person.

When I play with JBird, it’s not the all day engaged play that Daddy and Grandma are privy to; endless games of make-believe, limitless imaginative games. With Mommy, it’s a side by side “together” type of play. We read together, bake together, and paint together. She likes me to sit in the same room as her while she plays with her dolls. Sometimes I am asked to assist in the putting on or taking off of the doll’s clothes. Other than that, my job is to sit and be still.

This is probably why motherhood is so difficult at times. Knowing that your children really have no concept of you as a real person…and won’t until they are much older. Sometimes I just want to scream; probably just to validate that I am in fact a real live human being and not some sort of robot nanny.

But it’s also kind of great when you think about it. There’s a special power that comes along with being a mama.

Mommy is a magical creature.

Mommy is an entity: the all knowing, great and powerful, healer, wielder of bandaids, maker of the rules, queen bee, final say, comforter, lover, possessing all the virtues, muse, hero, warrior, bringer of the grilled cheese.

Daddy is a tangible person. Daddy takes me to the zoo. Daddy reads me stories. Daddy tucks me in. Daddy is special and important…but still real.

Mommy is like vapor. Existing, always there, but somehow not really a person. Mommy is mythical. Mommy is a unicorn.